Everyone I know who has been married for a bit has had a rough week with their spouse and thought: are we okay? Not necessarily a dramatic fight or a crisis. Just… a distance, where the connection felt thin, where you did your own thing and didn’t quite show up the way you know you should. When Friday night comes with Shabbos candles and a meal together, somehow we remember: we’re solid. That rough week didn’t define us. It was a moment, not our marriage. This week’s parsha, Naso, contains one of the most puzzling passages in the Torah: the laws of the sotah, a woman suspected of being unfaithful. But betrayal isn’t only in marriage, so why does the Torah make such a big deal specifically about a married woman? Betrayal is wrong, but why focus on betrayal in marriage specifically? Because the Jewish people are, in the deepest sense, married to Hashem. Not metaphorically, not poetically. This is the actual spiritual reality. Hashem is the husband. We are the wife. The Torah is our ketubah. The mitzvos are the way we show up for each other every day. Practically, this means every single thing we do carries the weight of that relationship. A kind word, a mitzvah done with joy, a moment of honest prayer, these are acts within an intimate relationship. But so is every stumble. When a married person slips up, even in a small way, it lands differently than if they were single. Not because G-d is keeping score differently, but because the bond is deeper. Even a minor lapse in our relationship with Hashem, something we might brush off as inconsequential, carries spiritual weight precisely because of how close we are. And yet, the sotah, even if she entered a questionable situation, is not declared impure. She may well be entirely innocent. And the moment the process is complete, the Torah says she will be cleared and will conceive. This is relevant to us because even in our most compromised moments, the bond isn’t broken. The inner spark of every soul, the pintele Yid, the Divine spark within, cannot be given to another. Hashem promised: “My glory I will not give to another.” That connection is permanent, even when we’ve temporarily acted like someone who forgot who they’re married to. A rough week doesn’t end a good marriage. It’s an invitation to come back closer. You might be in a season of feeling close to Hashem, where praying feels alive, Shabbos feels holy, and the mitzvos feel meaningful. Or you might be in a season where it all feels distant. You’re going through the motions. You haven’t really prayed with intention in longer than you’d like to admit. The connection feels shaky. Either way, the marriage is still there. Hashem hasn’t filed for divorce. The ketubah is still in effect. The only question is: what are you going to do to show up for it this week? Light the Shabbos candles. Make Kiddush. Come to shul. Do one mitzvah today with the awareness that you’re not just checking a box, you’re tending to the most important relationship of your life. Good Shabbos, Rabbi Kushi Schusterman P.S. When the sotah is cleared, the Talmud says she gives birth with greater ease and to children of greater spiritual quality than before. In other words, returning to the relationship with full heart doesn’t just restore what was, it creates something even more beautiful. That’s the power of coming home.
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