We all have some level of ego. When our ego stops us from being able to see another person’s perspective, that is where problems begin.
There is a Chassidic story that can help us solve our "ego problems".
Rabbi Hillel of Paritch was one of the many great scholars of his day to join the Chabad Chassidic movement. As a young man, Rabbi Hillel heard of the founder of Chabad Chassidism, the Alter Rebbe (Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi) and sought to meet with him. But the opportunity seemed to forever elude the young prodigy. As he would arrive in a town that the Alter Rebbe was visiting, he would be informed that the Rebbe had just left.
Finally, he managed to locate the Alter Rebbe's lodgings before the Rebbe was due to arrive. To ensure that he would not, once again, somehow miss his opportunity, Rabbi Hillel crept into the Alter Rebbe's appointed room and hid under the bed. In anticipation of his encounter with the Alter Rebbe, Rabbi Hillel had "armed" himself with some of his achievements in Talmudic study. At that time, the young scholar was studying the tractate Erchin, or "Appraisals", the section of the Talmud which deals with the laws of how to appraise the value of one's pledges to charity. Rabbi Hillel had an insightful question on the subject which he had diligently rehearsed to discuss with the Rebbe.
From his hiding place, Rabbi Hillel heard the Rebbe enter the room. But before he could make a move, he heard the Alter Rebbe exclaim: "If a young man has a question regarding 'Appraisals', he had best first evaluate himself."
Young children often seem egotistical, even when being nice. This is because they only see things from their own perspective. For example, a child might sympathize with an adult, trying to comfort them by offering a favorite toy, reasoning that what helps the child feel better will also comfort the adult. Egocentric thinking can also cause one to feel responsible if something bad happens over which they have no control.
EGO stands for Edging G-d Out. True haughtiness is when we think we are more important than G-d. When someone's ego isn’t in check, they may be afflicted with Tzarras of the head (the spiritual lesions similar to leprosy mentioned in this week’s Torah portion).
What is the antidote? Bittul – recognizing our true humble self-worth, beginning with evaluating ourselves (see story above). An honest appraisal of our own character and behavior will show how much we can learn from every individual. There are so many positive traits we can learn and emulate, if we are willing to be humble and accept the lessons from those who are supposedly 'inferior' to us. Simultaneously, we need to recognize that we have a true self-worth, which is given to us by G-d allowing us to be His messengers to transform the world.
Have a good Shabbos,
Rabbi Kushi Schusterman