Free Samples Work for Ice Cream • Not for Jewish Identity

Rabbi, my husband isn’t Jewish. Shouldn’t we give our children a little of each religion and let them decide later on?

On the surface, this seems fair and balanced. Why not expose children to everything and let them choose?

Judaism is not a flavor or a hobby. It’s not something to sprinkle lightly into life, alongside other options. Judaism is our very identity, our essence. A Jewish soul doesn’t “become” Jewish when it decides; it is Jewish from birth. To give Judaism as a watered-down sample, as just one of many options, is to hide its true nature.

We see this by giving a boy a bris at 8 days (the earliest safe time to perform a bris). Even before a child understands anything, we create an irreversible covenant. This shows that, from the very first moment, their Jewish identity is who they are. Not “lite,” not half-measure, not postponed for later. Children need to know that being Jewish means belonging to a people whose bond with G-d is not limited by nature or logic. This identity is planted deep when they’re young, and it lasts forever.

One would not give their child “a little bit” of food and say, “When you’re older, you can decide if you want a full meal.” A child needs proper nourishment from the very beginning to grow strong and healthy. If something is life itself, you give it as it is. Judaism is life.

This doesn’t mean being harsh or heavy-handed, G-d forbid. It means being real. Show your child the beauty of Shabbos candles, the warmth of a Seder table, the joy of a sukkah, and the pride of saying Shema at night. These are not just rituals; they are encounters with G-d that shape a soul for a lifetime.

To give a child “a taste” of Judaism is like feeding them watered-down nourishment. It may fill them for the moment, but it won’t strengthen their Jewish soul.

Give them the real thing. Proud, authentic, relevant, vibrant Judaism. That’s what will carry them, guide them, and give them true strength in life.

Have an amazing Shabbos,

Rabbi Kushi Schusterman

P.S. This applies to all Jewish children, and to ourselves. Don’t sell yourself short; give yourself authentic Judaism, regardless of your age. Incorporate one new mitzvah in your life, and once you get comfortable with it, add another one.