One of the songs sung in Chabad tradition during the month of Elul is the haunting melody of the Alter Rebbe, sung to the verse from Shir HaShirim:
“Kol Dodi Dofek, Pischi Li Achosi, Raayosi, Yonasi, Tamasi – My beloved knocks: Open for me, my sister, my love, my dove, my perfect one.”
It is the voice of the Hashem, gently knocking at our hearts.
But the verse raises a question: How can He call us both “sister” and “beloved”? Isn’t that a contradiction?
Chassidic teachings explain: A husband and wife share two levels of connection. On the surface, they are two individuals who choose to bond together. That bond, like any choice, can theoretically be broken. However, at a deeper level, they are like siblings, sharing the same essence, inseparable at the core. Husband and wife are, in truth, two halves of the same soul, destined to reunite.
That is why Avraham asked Sarah to describe herself as his “sister” when they faced mortal danger in Egypt. When the external bond is threatened, it is the essential connection, the sibling like unity, that remains unbreakable.
A story that captures this beautifully. A man (some say Moses Mendelssohn), was misshapen and hunchbacked. When he met his wife, she was at first so shaken by his appearance that she burst into tears. He explained that when he was born, his future wife had already been destined for him, but she was meant to be deformed or hunchback. “O Hashem,” he prayed, “let her be whole and beautiful, and give me the humpback instead.”
She saw his sincerity, and several months later they were married.
This is the message of Elul. Hashem knocks and whispers: “Open for Me, My sister, My beloved.” Yes, we can choose whether to embrace Hashem, like a spouse chooses love. But at the deepest level, we are inseparable, like siblings. Our soul is part of Him.
Elul invites us to nurture that essential bond. To quiet the distractions, tend to the soul, and remind ourselves that this connection cannot be broken.
So when the knock comes, answer.
Rabbi Kushi Schusterman
P.S. Join us at Harford Chabad this Elul and High Holiday season. Opportunities for every age, every stage, every soul. See all upcoming events