I needed help. I asked for it. However, it was very hard for me!
Can you relate?
Why is it hard to ask for help?
Being on the receiving end requires the humility and vulnerability of recognizing that we can't do everything ourselves. In order to gain the most, we need to be willing to make space and a "bowl" to receive.
When our plate is full, there is no place for blessings or for others to connect and be involved.
When we make space, when we are humble and selfless, we allow ourselves to receive.
When we are selfless, we change from being the boss to being the leader. When we are selfless, we can say to G-d "you have anointed my head with oil, my cup is full"; we gave G-d a place to pour the oil, and He filled the vessel.
Naturally, we want to be selfish at times. Yet, the most selfish thing one can do is be selfless. The only caveat is to ensure that selfless doesn't mean non-existence. You need to have a self which you make selfless. You need to take care of yourself, but it shouldn't be only about you.
If it's not about you (and your ego), but about your purpose and the things which are greater than me and you, then asking for help becomes effortless and you end up as the leader. Whether it is help to perpetuate your life mission, company mission, or a G-d given mission.
In short, want to be selfish? Be selfless.
Good Shabbos,
Rabbi Kushi Schusterman