I got a call this past week from a community member who was upset at another individual. They wanted my advice, which I gave. It is called patience.
I advised to make sure the "offender" is aware that they crossed a line.
Then you need to give some time to allow the offender to make amends, to apologize. It can take some time until they get the guts to apologize.
In therapy, there is a concept called processing. You identify what happened, you process it, and then you choose your path forward. It's difficult to process when you are "in it". Once you are "past it", you can then figure out your path forward.
“If you can name it, you can tame it.”
One of the jobs of a therapist is to help the client who is stuck to process an issue, to identify which emotions are blocking their client’s recovery. Why is their client "stuck"?
We find this with Moses and pharaoh. Pharaoh was the epitome of evil in his day. G-d told Moses, "I have made you a Lord over Pharaoh". How did Moses tame Pharaoh? By calling him out for who he is, while channeling G-d.
When we bump into negativity in our own life, we can use the same tool.
- Identify what it is, give it a name (Pharaoh?)
- Recognize that you are the lord, the master over the evil
- Channel G-d and
- Tell it to the evil. I am in charge of you, you cannot control me!
Have a good Shabbos,
Rabbi Kushi Schusterman