However, the fact that the Torah declares the proper child-to-parent relationship to be a Divine precept lends it a new character.
[Note the expression of Deut. 5:16: "Honor your father and your mother as the L-rd your G‑d has commanded you." Cf. Hamek Davar, ad loc., and Aruch Hashulchan, Yoreh Deah, 240:2f.]
The fact that "to honor" and "to revere" parents are Mitzvos of the Torah, impresses upon these precepts a stamp of absoluteness and makes of them independent principles.
It no longer matters whether some individual or collective reason agrees with this notion or whether a particular society may have a different standard of ethics and code of morality. In the context of the Torah-tradition it is inconceivable that there be a "calculated and well-reasoned attitude" as that of ancient Sparta to dispose of parents that have become "useless", or a liability, due to old age or infirmity.
The absolute character of the Mitzvos to honor and revere parents makes filial duties independent of exterior conditions. Filial duties and obligations remain intact even where there is no debt to be paid, e g. where parents have failed or refused to perform their responsibilities towards their children.
Indeed, the Torah's absolute precepts remain in force even in relation to parents who may have forsaken the Torah [Hilchos Mamrim 5:12ff., and 6:11; Shulchan Aruch, ibid., 240:18. Note commentaries ad loc.].
Thus it is seen that filial duties are not to be looked upon as mere logical consequence and proportionate outgrowth of the exercise of parental duties. There is a more profound significance attached to these precepts of the Torah.
Does this reverence and or honor apply to parents who abandoned their families and children? How can there be reverence or respect given for someone who is irresponsible and who has been disrepectful of the child (ren) and adult children since at birth?
That is the very point that Rabbi Schochet is making, it is a Mitzvah - Divine Command. That means it binding even in cases that logically one would not respect them. "The absolute character of the Mitzvos to honor and revere parents makes filial duties independent of exterior conditions. Filial duties and obligations remain intact even where there is no debt to be paid, e g. where parents have failed or refused to perform their responsibilities towards their children."
Now, this may not be easy and can be very challenging for someone who has suffered because of parental neglect or worse. I would like you to read this link to help understand how to approach this.
We are judged as individuals by our Creator! Parents who are not fulfilling their responsibility will have to give account on the day of judgement! In fact we all do! I hope this helps a little ..
The article is great and accurate in the fact that to respect neglectful parents is challenging. Thanks for the response.