Some people are passive, others are aggressive. Yet others are passive aggressive.
Some people are hard on themselves, easy on others. Hard on others, easy on themselves.
The "hard on themselves" people are pushing themselves constantly and are very unforgiving for their shortcomings. The easy people seem to float through life. They don’t seem to internalize any of it.
In just a few days the holy day of Atonement, the day of Yom Kippur will be upon us. Each year between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur we have a Shabbos. Shabbos possess a unique harmonizing power. It helps us harmonize the past week with the new week. It helps bring together the mundane and the spiritual. It helps us find harmony within our inherent conflict of body and soul.
This Shabbos being between the days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur brings together a unique harmony of the two holidays.
Rosh Hashanah is about our inherent connection with G-d. Yom Kippur is about atonement for our shortcomings.
A person who is engaged in serving G-d, engaged in Avodah (character development in G-dly pursuit) may find themselves during these days despondent. The person may find themselves realizing that they’ve fallen short of their inner potential. The reaction can be an intense one, renewed resolution, rebound, strong commitment. Or it can be the opposite; depressed, bitter, negative, hopeless, helpless.
Neither of these approaches are harmonious and neither is productive. Most importantly, neither is an authentic expression of our relationship with Hashem.
If we think of our relationship with G-d like a relationship with a parent, contemplate what a good parent would expect of us. Would a parent want us to beat ourselves each time we fall short? Or would a good parent want us to pressure ourselves to take on unreasonable goals?
I think a good loving parent would want us to make good resolutions, reasonable resolutions, attainable resolutions. The good parent would want us to recognize honestly about ourselves that we are finite beings with a limited ability to accomplish everything we wish we were. So the good parent would want to see us growing each day, each year, but in a reasonable manner.
This Shabbos, the harmony between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur is about finding the balance between our awareness that Hashem loves and at the same time recognize that reasonable commitment to change in our lives is important. With the knowledge that we are safe in Hashem’s love and that what is expected of us is normal human accomplishments, not supernatural angelic victories, we can be at peace this Shabbos and enter into Yom Kippur feeling the Divine Embrace and being assured that the New Year will be a blessed one.
Good Shabbos and Gmar Chasima Tova!
Rabbi Kushi Schusterman
