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Sorry, It wasn't me, really

Thursday, 8 February, 2018 - 11:40 am

When we make a mistake, we need to fix it. Sometimes we say “I am sorry for hurting you”. Many times, these words are said as “I am sorry if you were hurt by my actions”.

I always wondered if that is a disingenuous apology. If you were really sorry, say you are sorry for hurting the person, not sorry that they were hurt.

An answer can be found in this week’s Torah portion, when it discusses someone who inadvertently kills another. The Torah says: “And he who did not ambush, but G-d caused it to happen to him, I shall provide you a place to which he shall flee. (Exodus 21:13)

It seems like he is being let off the hook; he did not kill the person, G-d caused it to happen to him. He still needs to make amends, so G-d provides a place to flee to (the city of refuge).

The message here is that a person, while they are in touch with their true soul identity, cannot do a sin, something that is against the will of G-d, even inadvertently. Hence, if he sinned, it must be something external to his true self that caused him to do it (and it was caused by G-d). However, since YOU did it, YOU need to atone.

Additionally, the two souls, the G-dly soul and the animalistic selfish soul, are affected by the sin. Therefore, G-d says: I will give YOU, the G-dly soul, a place where HE, the animal soul, can flee and rectify the damage caused.

Sorry if you were hurt by MY actions, can mean: I take full responsibility for what I did, but know that it was the external part of me - my core soul is still deeply connected. I never would cause you any pain if I was in touch with my truest self!

Have a great shabbos.

Rabbi Kushi Schusterman

P.S. No minyan this week


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