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Thursday, 18 May, 2017 - 11:10 am

Being blessed with a few children, the dynamics at home are fun. Amid the happy, peaceful and loving times, there will be the occasional, or not so occasional, squabble. Following a quarrel, we require all involved to apologize to one another, even if they do not mean it!

Why? Why apologize if the tone of your apology says the opposite; I am not really sorry! 

Speech, verbalizing something, helps one express their thoughts. Additionally, it adds power and fervor to the thought (or emotion). This is why one should remain silent when angry as it will make them angrier.

However, here is the clincher: when we say something that is inconsistent with our internal feelings and thoughts, we have a moment of pain and embarrassment. After all, we are people who are supposed to say what we mean. 

When we make a mistake, or owe someone an apology - even if we do not mean it – we should still say I'm sorry. This is the first step toward reconciliation; it gives you a twinge of the pain that they may be feeling.

Have a good Shabbos,

Rabbi Kushi Schusterman 

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